Let’s be real – if finding true love were as easy as rom-coms make it seem, we’d all be wrapped in matching pajamas, taking cute couple selfies, and living happily ever after. But here you are, single and scrolling, wondering if love is just another overhyped social media trend.
Spoiler alert: the problem isn’t you. Well… not entirely. Before you start blaming Lagos traffic, your village people, or the cliché that “all the good ones are taken,” let’s break it down.
1. Your ‘Type’ Is Playing You
You keep saying you have a type – tall, dark, bearded tech bro. Or maybe she’s the Instagram baddie with the perfect wig game and vibes for days. But have you noticed that your type always leaves you heartbroken, confused, or writing deep Twitter threads about relationships?
Take a cue from the movie, Love in Every Word. Remember how the main character, Chioma, kept chasing the ‘ideal’ partner, only to realize that love wasn’t in the grand, dramatic moments but in the quiet, everyday gestures? Maybe, just maybe, it’s time to switch things up. Try looking beyond your usual checklist and focus on things that actually matter, like emotional intelligence, shared values, and someone who doesn’t air your messages for 48 hours.
2. You’re Attracting Your Energy, Not Your Wishlist
It’s cute to have a list of ideal partner qualities, but be honest, do you match that list? You want a caring, ambitious, financially stable partner, but are you bringing the same energy to the table?
Attraction isn’t just about looks; it’s about the vibe you give off. If you’re constantly radiating “I don’t believe in love” energy, guess what? That’s exactly what you’ll get in return.
Instead of waiting for love to find you, work on yourself. Focus on personal growth, confidence, and creating a life so good that love becomes a beautiful complement, not a desperate search.
3. You’re Listening to ‘Relationship Experts’ on TikTok
One minute, some random influencer is telling you to ignore texts to “gain power,” and the next, another one is saying you should never settle unless your partner meets all 25 of your standards.
Here’s the truth: real relationships don’t follow viral trends. They require communication, compromise, and genuine connection. If your love life is based on online advice from people who are probably single themselves, it might be time to step back and think for yourself.
4. You’re Mistaking ‘Vibes’ for Compatibility
We’ve all been there – one deep conversation, a shared love for Afrobeats, and suddenly you’re convinced this is your soulmate. But vibes don’t pay rent, and chemistry isn’t the same as compatibility.
Long-term love is built on more than just good conversation and fun dates. Does this person share your values? Do they support your growth? Or are they just great for weekend vibes but nowhere to be found when life gets real?
Don’t get distracted by momentary sparks, look for the fire that keeps burning.
5. You’re Rushing or Not Trying at All
Some people are out here forcing relationships just to post #CoupleGoals pictures, while others are so scared of heartbreak that they have completely checked out of the dating game.
If you’re rushing, slow down. Desperation attracts the wrong people. And if you’ve given up on love because of past experiences, remember that one bad situation doesn’t mean love isn’t for you. The right one won’t feel like stress or struggle.
To wrap this up,
We all know money plays a huge role in the nigerian dating scene, where women often expect men to always shower them with gifts. On the other hand, the men are also clamouring for financial equality, and that they also deserve to be included in the soft life culture that has made love come with a price tag. This makes everyone ask, ‘does true love exist?’
Well, if you haven’t found true love yet, it’s not because love doesn’t exist. Maybe it’s because you’re looking in the wrong places, focusing on the wrong things, or letting past experiences shape your future.
Instead of stressing, enjoy the process. Love has a funny way of finding you when you least expect it – just make sure you’re ready when it does.
And until then, live your best life, stay open-minded, and remember, your person is out there.
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