Lagos will humble you. That’s the first lesson I learned as I entered my “Corporate Lagos Girl” era after I moved to Lagos. I thought I was prepared for the grind, stress, and traffic, but Lagos asked me to try again.
Let me tell you a few things I have faced since I moved back to Lagos:
I had to go to my office in Ikoyi one day and I got to the bus stop around 6:45 a.m. I stood for 20 minutes, watching people fight to board buses. I told myself, With all my steeze and aura, I cannot be caught in that kind of struggle as per Corporate Lagos Girl.
But guess who joined the fight when the next bus arrived after another 15 minutes of waiting? Yep, me. I wouldn’t call it a struggle, though because I just outsmarted other people. Some passengers even called me a “smart girl.” Is Lagos rubbing off on me already? 😭 Corporate Lagos babe in the mud.

The transportation costs? Ah! What I’d usually spend in a month in Ile-Ife disappeared in two days. And then, as if Lagos wasn’t done humbling me, I got lost after missing my stop several times. I wandered around for 20 minutes before finding my way. Lagos will show you who’s boss.
The bus I boarded to Obalende dropped me at a random location. I stood there like, Excuse me, sir, where am I? Trekking became my only option. Then came the queue to get a cab—30 minutes of standing like a statue. By the way, can we all agree that “queue” should just be spelt “kiu”? It’s not that deep abeg.
That same day, a masquerade approached me and begged for money with a cane. If I don’t give him, will he flog me? Thankfully, he did not.

One trip to Lagos Island Market was enough to convince me that I should never go back to that market alone. The network was so bad that a bank transfer I made didn’t go through, even though my bank had already debited me.
The vendor? She chased me down. A crowd gathered people turned on their hotspots to help, and I stood there, frustrated and close to tears. I eventually sorted it out, but Lagos taught me a hard lesson: carry cash. Always.
One day, during a client engagement, my colleagues and I went to a fancy restaurant in Lekki. They advertised rice for ₦300, and we thought, Yes, an affordable meal. But when they brought our bill, it was ₦1,500 per spoon! How?! I don’t even know why we were expecting something that cheap in Lekki.
The rice tasted great sha, but the restaurant owner was very rude. He wasn’t rude to me, though, and I’m not sticking around to find out if that will change. After that day, I switched to Glovo. I know I am not the only Corporate Lagos Girl who orders from Glovo or Chowwdeck. Those people are saving lives.
If you’ve never been in Lagos traffic, you haven’t seen Lagos. One day, a 3-minute journey turned into an hour. People started alighting and trekking like it was a marathon. Another day, it rained while I was sitting by the bus door. I got drenched. I was wearing a white top, and you can guess how that went. 🙈

Then there was the day smoke started to come out of the bus I boarded. We hadn’t even reached the Third Mainland Bridge, and people were already in prayer mode. The bridge felt endless that day, and I prayed too, hoping we wouldn’t turn into a barbecue before reaching the other side.
This past few months have been a movie for me like comedy, thriller, and action all rolled into one. From LASTMA officials arresting my bus to Shuttlers increasing their fares just when I thought I’d found a solution to my commercial bus problems. And how can I forget the woman who got off a bus on the Third Mainland Bridge to ease herself? I now believe why people say that nearly everyone in Lagos is mad, and honestly, I’m starting to join them.
For someone who grew up here, you’d think I’d be used to this madness. But Lagos always finds new ways to shock me. Am I surviving? Yes. Is Lagos chaotic? Absolutely. This is not the Corporate Lagos Girl experience that I expected but e go be.
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